It may not look very much but this small piece of material
is a powerful reminder of all the women that stand round me in my life and are
my strength. It was given to me wrapped round a bouquet of handpicked flowers.
My friends had insisted on a night together before my wedding. We watched the
sun set over the river drinking wine, eating beautiful food and talking. Amongst
all the gifts, ‘something old, something new, something borrowed, something
blue and a silver thruppence in her shoe,’ was this extra, the just in case the
hand-stitched cushion didn’t make it in time present, given to me privately in
the kitchen at the end of the night. The back-up present. My friend explained
to me that the bouquet included some rosemary and lavender for remembrance and
memory, which had been at the centre of her own wedding bouquet in memory of
her father and it was hand-tied in a piece of her veil. Having spent hours browsing
beautiful images of weddings and trying on some amazing dresses nothing had
seemed quite right but this small piece of fabric and those flowers told me
what my wedding was about. So I went back to my first dress, in the vintage
shop, a worn before beautiful 1930s style evening dress, and I took in the
piece of veil. I now knew how to make this dress, which would have been danced
in before, my own, with a hand-stitched and beaded ‘veil’ flowing from the
shoulders – I wasn’t being given away and I wanted to walk in hand-in-hand with
my husband-to-be and daughter – so the veil came from my shoulders and stood
for the strength all these women give to me every day, for their conversations,
for their tea and biscuits, for the glasses of wine and for the holding on to
each other.
In my bouquet and amongst all the flowers, put together on
the morning of the wedding with my friends, with the sea salted rain lashing
against the Georgian house teetering on the edge of Anglesey, was the lavender
and rosemary making sure my mother was there with me every step of the day and
it was wrapped in my friend Sarah’s piece of veil.
The beautiful hand embroidered cushion which was finished by
another friend, just in time, made up of: something new, the cushion; something
old – a vintage handkerchief; something borrowed - my friend’s time
embroidering; something blue - the thread. It is now cuddled by my daughter
every evening when she snuggles up on the sofa.
Dr Sarah Heaton, University of Chester
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